Thursday, May 30, 2013

Eau de Toilette (But NOT the Perfume)



"As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Each wife had seven sacks. Each sack had seven cats. Man, sacks, cats, and wives, how many were going to St. Ives?

Now just imagine that you had to answer a riddle like this every time you wanted to go to the bathroom. France prides itself by having advanced engineers, yet their toilets are stuck in the 1930s. It’s odd, because most other things they have here are as-or-more advanced than the U.S. (public transportation, I’m looking at you…). But their plumbing systems are built as if running water were still a novelty, even though they’ve had it for as long as any other European country. 

This is most evident in the different ways one can flush a toilet. Doing so instantly becomes a test of your critical thinking skills. I’ve never once seen a push lever attached to the tank attached to the bowl like a standardized American toilet. Some tanks are attached to the bowl, others are four feet above it, others are hidden in a wall somewhere. And the flushing mechanism is never self-evident. Do I pull THIS chain, or press THAT button? Or does this lever over here to something? Maybe if I pull on this plunger? Is that a foot pedal? Or is this a modern one that flushes by pushing a giant panel into the wall? Or is there an even-rarer automated flushing system that flushes while you take care of your business instead of after? 

You’ll never know the answer until you’ve tried a few options. It makes going to the bathroom an adventure, no matter where you are. (Especially when the urinals are out in the open common area between the men and women’s restrooms.) Now if only the “showers” were more than a glorified sponge bath…

Also, the answer to the first riddle isn’t 400. It’s 1. The man telling the riddle was the only one going to St. Ives. I'm sorry if this made you do math.

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