Before.... And after

I would like to share a couple experiences. One from my first week in Nice and one from my last.

My 4th day in Nice I was riding the bus back to my apartment when I made eye contact with a very genial old French woman, she smiled and my heart dropped to my boots. I tried to pretend I didn't see her, but then a seat opened up right next to her and I sat down. I was going to have to talk to her, every time I would look at her out of the corner of my eye I knew she wanted to talk with me. So, I repeated the question I was going to ask over and over again in my mind.... Ou allez-vous? Ou allez-vous.... And finales said it, brow sweating and hands shaking. She responded the Port, and continued having what was probably a jolly conversation in French... I was LOST. I just smiled and nodded and "oui'd" when it sounded appropriate, then before I knew what she was doing she asked my a question and handed me some gum! That day, though I didn't say more that six words, I was proud. I had spoken French with a stranger.

My last day in Nice... I'm on the bus from the school to my apartment. When this lady with a scratch off lottery card comes and sits down next to me, and before I know it we are talking, she explained what numbers she needed to win, and I expressed my condolences when she didn't. She asked where I was from and why I was in Nice, and I explained and asked where she was from. Madagascar. As I was getting off th bus it hit me that I had conducted the entire conversation in French!

Incroyable!

Now, if you still with me I want to talk about what studying abroad, learning a new language, and enduring some discomfort did to me. When I first arrived in Nice I couldn't speak French to my host, or the airport attendants and ordering lunch was a nightmare. Why? Let me give you a hint: it wasn't because I didn't know how. It was because I didn't believe I could.

I strongly believe that I have left France as a more confident, happier person. I've learned to imbrace the uniqueness that is my flat curveless body. I've learned I can speak French fairly well, and mostly importantly that I can do anything I put my mind to. I'm returning home with confidence in myself as an adult, something that I've always pretended to have.

Hard times and new awkward experiences will always come, but I can look back on this and remind myself that I did THIS. I kicked it in the face! And I can do it again!